Thursday, September 24, 2009

ANXIETY

Today, I had the day off of work. I needed to catch up on things that I felt like I had fallen behind on. But first came getting training out of the way.

The alarm went off at 445am. I couldn't believe I was gettin up this early on a day off but I wanted to get to the pool and get a bike ride in. As I was getting ready to head to the gym, my mind was heading in a million different directions. What to do first when I get done? Should I get some things done for Hooch's new business? Should I go to see my MIL? What I could do to help House? I forgot to get Bino money for lunch. I calmed myself and headed to the gym.

After finishing my swim warm up, it happened. An anxiety moment. I felt panicked. Word came to my mind that I heard yesterday. You can do everything right in your training and not miss a workout then you might not finish. What the hell was I doing? This was huge what I was training for. I took a deep breathe and resisted the urge to get out of the pool and run out of the gym. Another deep breathe. I stopped myself. Then I remembered what coach said -"Do not let anyone in your head. Focus. I CAN do this. There is only 2 ways that I will not finish B2B. First if I need to go to the medical tent. Second, I do not make the time cutoffs.

I have calmed and relaxed. I had a good day because I know that I can. I believe.

Waddling and believing....................

11 comments:

TRISHARKIE (AKA Ronda) said...

Fear Not, my friend. Fear Not.

Remember you will have many behind you supporting you EVERY step of the way!

This is a long journey...we can do this together!

SWTrigal said...

There will be lots of us there to cheer you in! You can do this-don't let your mind get the best of you!!

amybee said...

I know you can too. You are going to be just AWESOME!

Lisa Slow-n-Steady said...

you can do it! believe!!

Irene said...

Believe, definitely!

Calyx Meredith said...

What an EXCELLENT job you did of talking yourself through that and staying aligned with your training plan. You CAN do this - you are doing it. The stories we tell ourselves in our heads do have power - and you chose to use that power for good, just like you will in your race. Yay you!

Lindy said...

Inspiring...I need to be able to do that, too. I have moments of clarity like this, but I need to string those moments into a patterned way of thinking. Thanks for this post.

Dori said...

Wow, you're doing an Ironman! Good job on staying focused in the pool. That's good practice for the actual event.

IronLinae, PhD said...

One of the hardest parts of Ironman training is having faith. For a marathon, you can run 20-26 miles in training before race day. Not so for the ironman. For all the work we do, we can't mimic race day in training. No way to feel fool proof beforehand.

But this is truly the key to ironman. So much of ironman is a mental battle. Believe you will finish and...you will finish.

ShirleyPerly said...

Yes, do not let yourself get in the way of success. There are some you cannot control (weather, flats, water conditions, etc) but a lot of things that you can. Most notably, how you handle things. I believe iron training is mostly about managing your mental game.

Keep working it!

Nat said...

You can do it! YOu have put in the time and you will do it!

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